Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Timeliness and timeframes

I'm turning 26 this year. It's not going to be a good birthday for me. I know because I'm already getting depressed about it and the slightest thing is setting my brain off into the realms of crazy and to top it off, Kirstie Allsop has been sharing her over inflated opinion about what women should be.


Just...... Wow.

I'd love to be in a position to be popping out my first born! Truly! Only what the great and powerful Miss (will only get married for the tax breaks-wtf tax break would that be?!) Allsop fails to communicate in this article is the fact that not every woman at that age is financially stable enough to support herself, never mind herself-plus-offspring?! 

There is never a more heavy burden for a woman than the weight of time. Every year getting closer to being rendered barren by your own body whilst constantly being reminded of what you should have already achieved by now, but haven't. 

It's great that Kirstie is in such a position; supportive partner, successful career, head screwed on right. But the rest of us mere mortals have what we have, and it isn't always the right recipe to create children. If I were to become pregnant now (to my husband, obviously) I'm pretty sure he would support me... all the way to the abortion clinic. 

So yeah, I'm turning 26 and I'm just mightily pissed off at myself for not having a successful career, supportive husband or a stable enough home life to introduce kids to. Women can't wait until after they've had children to go through their education and find their place in the world of work due to that little tiny thing called ageism (and dare I say, whisper it, sexism), which is still rife in a lot of industries. And what is to say that the man they are with at 27 is the right man to spend the rest of their life with?

Time isn't on our side. Women have been pretty much cluster-fucked since the day they were allowed to vote. We will never be equal because the way the entire world works, is against us. 

Life is just a constant torment. Everything is always just that bit out of reach. 

I regret ditching uni, I regret marrying my "sweetheart", I regret most of my entire life and I hate that everything I need to change it is just too far gone. I'm exhausted from trying to make ends meet and devestated that I've had to let go of such massive parts of myself. I'm heart-sick. And so incredibly envious of other women, like Kirstie, who have their cake and wear it proudly on their hips. 

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